RIGHTS
OF RELATIVES
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A
Muslim is required to maintain a good relationship with his
relatives. In Islamic terms, 'Silah-Rahimi' is used to denote
'good treatment towards the relatives'.
In
the Qur'an Allah tells us: "Give
your relatives their due…" (17:26)
"Allah
commands justice, kindness and giving to near relatives…."
(16:90)
"…And
show kindness to your parents and to near relatives…"
(4:36)
The sayings of Allah’s Messenger Muhammad [Peace be upon him]
are replete with virtues of joining the ties of relations
and helping relatives. We are encouraged to visit our relatives,
inquire about their circumstance, spend on them, give them
Sadaqa (voluntary charity) if they are poor, assist them in
any reasonable way and the most important is to show love
and affection to them.
In the Quraan, where the Muslims are enjoined to show kindness
to parents, they are also required to treat other relatives
with love and sympathy and to pay due regard to their rights
as well.
The
foremost claim on a person is that of his mother, then of
his father, and then grade by grade, of the other relatives.
Therefore through relationship, the relatives' rights come
after that of the parents.
Allah
has declared, "I am Allah, I am Ar-Rahman (The Merciful),
I have created the bond of kinship and named it Rahim,-which
I have derived from the root of my name of Rahman. Thus, whoever,
shall join it (ie. Rahim), I shall join him, and whoever will
break it, I shall break him."
The
Almighty has designed the system of birth in such a way, that
whoever is born, is tied to the bonds of kinship-and these
bonds carry certain claims and rights. Thus, whoever fufills
these claims, by being kind to his relatives and treating
them well, Allah will "join him" i.e. He will make
him His own and bestow His favour and mercy on him. And whosoever
will violate these claims, Allah will "break him"
i.e. He will have nothing to do with him.
Fulfilling
the Rights of Relatives
It
is related by Anas (RA) that the Allah’s Messenger Muhammad
[Peace be upon him] said "Whoever wants an increase in
his sustenance and that the marks of his feet remain for a
long time in the world (i.e. to live long) - he should be
kind and helpful to his relatives."
Family
quarrels, which generally arise from the disregard of the
relatives' rights, affect a persons health and causes friction
in homes and in the community at large. Those who treat their
relatives well and are helpful to them, are free from tensions
and they are happier and more peaceful.
Violation
of Relatives' Rights
The
Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has said "Whoever
violates the rights of relatives, shall not go to Paradise."
It
shows that the violation of the relatives' rights is so detested
by Allah, that with its filthiness, no one can enter Paradise.
It is only when a person (believer) has received his punishment
or has been forgiven, that the gates of Paradise will be opened
for him.
Showing
Kindness to Those Who Severe Relations
Often,there
are people who care little for the bonds of relationship and
are rude and unjust in this respect. Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu
Alayhi Wasallam) has enjoined to continue to treat them well
and fufil the obligations, irrespective of what they do and
how they behave.
Abdullah
ibn Umar (RA) relates from the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi
Wasallam), "He does not fulfill the claim of Silah-Rahimi
[one who keeps the ties of relations] who shows no kindness
in return for the kindness shown to him. The person who really
fulfills the claim is he who treats his relatives well even
when they are mean and unjust to him."
A
man asked: O Messenger of Allaah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam],
I have relatives with whom I maintain ties of relations, yet
they cut-off from me. I treat them kindly, yet they treat
me in an evil manner. And I am forbearing and patient with
them, yet they behave rudely and ignorantly towards me. The
Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: "If
the situation is as you say, then it is as if you are filling
their mouths with sand. And Allaah will continue to aid and
support you as long as you continue doing what you are doing."
When
the violation of the rights of relatives is returned in a
similar manner, then evil spreads in society - But if it is
returned with kindness, it may lead to their correction and
it will assist in the promotion of Silah-Rahimi, in the life
of the community.
As
we know, Islam enjoins us not only to be good to those who
are good to us, but also to be good to those who are not good
to us. This shows exemplary moral character according to the
standard of Islam.
And
the most important aspect of fulfilling the rights of relatives...
It is a means to Allah’s happiness!
Some
practical Tips to Promote Family Relations:
Visit
them often - do not wait for “occasions” e.g. deaths, marriages
etc.
Invite them home.
Always show love even if your relatives do not do the same.
Always make Dua [pray] for them.
Give them gifts - Spend on them according to your means.
Help them in need and sympathise with them on sad occasions.
Share happy moments and occasions with them.
Avoid backbiting - It is the main cause of friction.
Always talk positively about them and do not look down upon
them.
Occasionally give them a call to enquire about their welfare.
Do not compete with them in material pursuits.
Always be a well-wisher of your Relatives.
Plan ways to improve and strengthen relations.
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