LIVE
YOUR LIFE
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This was a speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author,
Anna Quindlen at the graduation ceremony of an American
university where she was awarded an Honorary PhD.
"I'm
a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know.
Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will
walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no
one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with
your same degree: there will be thousands of people doing
what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only
person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular
life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk or your
life on a bus or in a car or at the computer. Not just the
life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your
bank accounts but also your soul.
People
don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much
easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume
is cold comfort on a winter's night, or when you're sad, or
broke, or lonely, or when you've received your test results
and they're not so good.
Here
is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have
tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good
parent. I no longer consider myself the centre of the universe.
I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to
my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they
say. I am a good friend to my friends and them to me. Without
them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because
I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone
and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre,
at my job if those other things were not true.
You
cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all
you are. So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a
life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion,
the bigger pay cheque, the larger house. Do you think you'd
care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm
one afternoon or found a lump in your breast?
Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing
itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop
and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or
the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to
pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger.
Get
a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and
who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is
work. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get
a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is
the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking
it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you
want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent
on futility and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen.
Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But
if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.
It
is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and our
minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the colour of our
kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls
and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead
of to live.
I
learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey.
I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today
is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the
good in the world and try to give some of it back because
I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do
that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling
them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz
on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your
face. Learn to be happy.
And
think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you
will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived." |