FIVE CONDITIONS
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A man came to Ibrahim ibn Adham, RA, and said, "Abu Ishaq, I am unable to control myself. Please give me something to help me with it". "If you accept five conditions," said Ibrahim, "and are able to put them into practice, your disobedience will not cause you any problem."

"Just tell me what they are, Abu Ishaq!" the man said. "The first is that when you want to disobey Allah you do not eat anything He provides." "Then how will I get anything to eat? Everything on the earth is from Him!" "So is it right to eat His provision and disobey Him at the same time?" replied Ibrahim. "No, it is not. What is the second condition?" "When you want to disobey him, move off His land." "That is even more difficult! Exclaimed the man. "In that case where will I live?" "Is it right to eat his provision and live on His land and then to disobey Him?" asked Ibrahim. "No, it is not."

"What is the third condition?" "When you want to disobey Him in spite of eating His provision and living on His land, find a place where He will not see you and disobey Him there." "What do you mean, Ibrahim? He knows everything that happens even in the most hidden places!" "So is it right to disobey Him when you eat His provision and live on His land and when you know that He can see everything you do?" "It certainly is not!" the man replied.

"Tell me the fourth condition." "That when the Angel of Death arrives to take your soul, you say to him, 'Give me a reprieve so that I can repent and act righteously for Allah.'" "But he won't listen to me!" "Then if you cannot ward off death long enough to give yourself time to repent, and you know that when it comes there will be no reprieve, how can you hope to be saved?"

"What is the fifth?" "That when the angels of the Fire come to you to take you to the Fire, you do not go with them." "They will take me whether I like it or not!" exclaimed the man. "So how can you hope to be saved?"

"Enough, enough, Ibrahim! I ask Allah's forgiveness and I turn to Him!"

The man's repentance was sincere and from that time on he was assiduous in his worship and avoided acts of disobedience until the day he died.

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SPANISH RICE
Step 1: 3 ½ cups Basmati Rice - 1 tblsp salt - 1 tsp Arad - 2 tblsp oil. Boil above ingredients until half done.

Step 2: 1 punnet sliced mushrooms - 2 carrots Julienne strips or grated - 1 green pepper cubed - 1 cup corn - ½ cup peas - 1 onion sliced - Garlic butter - Salt & Pepper - 1 Cup orange juice. Stir fry the vegetables and add to boiled rice. Mix everything together and steam with juice.

Step3:
VAGAAR
2 tblsp almonds, 1 tblsp saumph, 3 green chillies slit, 3tblsp ghee. (Braise everything together and pour over steamed rice.

Step 4: 2 tblsp peri peri oil - ½ tsp black pepper - 2 onions sliced - 3 big tomatoes grated - 1tsp whole jeero - 1 cup tomato sauce - 1 tblsp crushed garlic - 1 tsp sugar - 2 green chillies - 2 tblsp Worcester sauce - 2 patatoes cut into chips - 1kg chicken fillet - 1tsp red chilles - 1tsp dhana jeero - Lemon juice

Braise the onion in oil. Add garlic & green chillies, Add chicken cubes and braise. Add rest of ingredients and allow simmering – must be saucy. Serve with rice and chips.

MALES
Jameel - handsome/ physically and morally attractive; name of a sahaabi
Jawad - Openhanded, Generous
Luqmaan - A Prophet's Name, intelligent, wise

FEMALES
Ameena - Trustworthy; Faithful
Madihah/ Madeeha - Praiseworthy
Najma/Najmah - Star

If you would ever question me,
This would be my outright answer to Thee:
True, I sinned - brutalized my own being,
But what have I done against you, my King?

To shun death by hunger, many a time,
In prison, I had to eat dirt and grime.
Did your dominion become any less?
Did I usurp any of your prowesses?

You built me a bridge to cross, thin as hair;
Out of your traps I'm to choose my own snare.
I wish its firm foundation will hold sway
So those who cross it know it's the true way.

A scale is suitable for a grocer,
For a small merchant or a jeweller.
Sin, though, is the vilest, filthiest vice,
The profit of those unworthy of Grace.

No harm ever came from Yunus to you;
Open, secret - all things are in your view.

Firewood
Hello, is this the SAP?" "e-Yes. What you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbour, Hendrik van der Merwe! He is hiding d*gga inside his firewood." "E-Yes...Thank you for your cooperation and information in combating crime and violence, in our society sir."

The next day, the SAP descend on Hendrik's house. They search the braai Lapa where the firewood is. Using axes, they chop open every piece of wood, but find no d*gga. They shout and swear at Hendrik and leave.

The phone rings at Hendrik's house. "Hey, Hendrik! Did the SAP come?" “Ja!" "Did they chop your firewood for the braai tonight?" "...ja...."

"Happy Birthday Boet!"